the 14th day

Today is the 14th day we broke up. Its really not worth to be like that actually . I really cant figure it out why its too late as long as you have the heart and confidence to changed and face everythings together. Actually i am really damn sad at the past few days but till today, i think i am being ok. I can control myself not crying anymore, i can control my mind not thinking of the negative way anymore but sometimes i still do cuz i am human and human got feeling! Maybe that its not the real things or the real person i met before, i not sure, Its really seems so strange to me now, its like a brand new things in front of me and i totally cant get what its thinking or what. I dont even know this person now. Everythings seems so fake to me right now,just like i am awaken from the dreams.Things changed, but its changed too fast till i cant even accept it. I am quite disappointed actually, its really hurts my feeling. I dont hope anythings happen badly between me and him again. Time can proved everythings or time can heal the sadness?? Let's see now.. i really dont wish to hear anythings from other people now cuz this just involved between me and him. I am so tired of it, i am not a robot, i aslo will tired. I dont hope to care anythings more. Its really doesn't matter to me now. The more i step deeper into it, the more it turns bad. The only things i could do now is really fully concentrate in my studies. Its not a big deal right ? XD Everyday is a brand new day for me and i have promised myself to smile everyday. I need to be as happy as i could cuz crying its not a way to solve problems. I am growing up now. I am being matured. I gonna to change myself. Wait to see a brand new ESTHER !! [hope i really could do so] really just 顺其自然 lo. no forcing please. I really get it now. Thanks ..!! :D