its just another day..

Hmm, actually its just a normal day for me again. Gosh , today suddenly no current when its time to open the air-con. Hmmm.. So hot and its freaking hot but i still sleeping that time cuz its tired lar ... XD

Today is his birthday and aslo our 9th month aniversarry if we were still togeter now. I can see he is quite happy with his friends today. Happy birthday Kevin ! Wish you will become more mature only. Sweet sixteen ~

My feelings again. i really cant figure it out why today i will think somethings sad again. Ish! Really so tired to being like that. ITS SO HARD TO HIDE MY FEELING and love.. But i must be as strong as him or even much stronger altought its hard to do so. But this is the only way for me now. Actually nothin is hopeless or going too late. I think its just a habit for him only. Maybe we still dunno the meaning of love or even i haven ready yet in a relationship now. I wan to become more lady, cuz i really wanna 2 change my style or personalities. I am controlling myself not to think too much, i just wanna 2 keep myself busy only. But dunno why, i wont tired aslo. Lameo ..
I duno isnt it worth to do so, I really dunno what he thinks right now. STRANGER!!!! Hope time can cure my sadness faster .. Really do appreciate the chance if i had now. But , no if in my life now, just fact only. Its my own life and i will handle it as pretty as i can. Wish me good luck XD

习惯和爱情

习惯和爱情？只怕你把习惯当成爱情而已。
I really so hate myself, why i cant clearly be strong, why should i think of that again. Its just make me more sad and hate being myslf only. I really trying to improve myself. But, i duno i got do so or not? Love cant hide, feelings too. I really cant cheat myself, maybe i could cheat others but i cant even cheat myself. But i really wont cry anymore, i really hate to cry now cuz is not a way to solve problem. Its my fade. Maybe this is just a lesson for me, for cherish something precious to you. But i really cant stand those complaint again. Stop being like that k? I didnt say anythings doesnt mean that i really did or feel so, just i dont wan to talk anymore. Just wasting the time. Life still goes on. I am stil living, i am trying my best to concentrate in my studies. Those shattered piece just leave it there. Use super glue aslo no use for me now cuz its hurt. I really dont hope to hear any complaint and make me to know or see somethings that dissapointed me. Its tired to being like that. Love and habit, i aslo not sure now.

my sunday!

today i went out for movie wit my frens. We saw transformer today. Gosh man, almost three hours and damn freezing cold inside but its really quite a nice movie. Love her body, so sexy ! haha XD i saw the Mc donald ice cream stall again, just then i realize, i didnt eat ice cream for quite a long time. I didnt even buy ice cream to eat just now cuz i really dont need ice cream anymore. Its makes me gian weight only. xp I think today will be a quite and peaceful night to me aslo. Enjoy~

today is today..

HAPPY B'DAY KUANZ. haha XD sweet sixteen ~

lawl. today is kuanz =betty's biday. Oh ya, forget ask him to wear the dress and put on the make up just now in his b'day party. haha XD well, we keep took ss pic or even video on his big screen computer just now, that was all malina's idea. its really crazy but kinda fun.. hmmm.. =]

well well well, again and again. non-stop. i duno isnt a full stop or question mark? as long as, i know many things like *COUGH COUGH* wit this happening. piss off man! i really being tired to see it,really like an interesting or even a LAMEO movie! you really a drama queen&king , its true !you can get both of it. Suit you cuz u never feel enough. you worth to be it k? cuz its really doesnt matter to me cuz you are just a lier only..

16th day? lawl. no comment wit it. things seems .. Errrr............. DUNO!

the 14th day

Today is the 14th day we broke up. Its really not worth to be like that actually . I really cant figure it out why its too late as long as you have the heart and confidence to changed and face everythings together. Actually i am really damn sad at the past few days but till today, i think i am being ok. I can control myself not crying anymore, i can control my mind not thinking of the negative way anymore but sometimes i still do cuz i am human and human got feeling! Maybe that its not the real things or the real person i met before, i not sure, Its really seems so strange to me now, its like a brand new things in front of me and i totally cant get what its thinking or what. I dont even know this person now. Everythings seems so fake to me right now,just like i am awaken from the dreams.Things changed, but its changed too fast till i cant even accept it. I am quite disappointed actually, its really hurts my feeling. I dont hope anythings happen badly between me and him again. Time can proved everythings or time can heal the sadness?? Let's see now.. i really dont wish to hear anythings from other people now cuz this just involved between me and him. I am so tired of it, i am not a robot, i aslo will tired. I dont hope to care anythings more. Its really doesn't matter to me now. The more i step deeper into it, the more it turns bad. The only things i could do now is really fully concentrate in my studies. Its not a big deal right ? XD Everyday is a brand new day for me and i have promised myself to smile everyday. I need to be as happy as i could cuz crying its not a way to solve problems. I am growing up now. I am being matured. I gonna to change myself. Wait to see a brand new ESTHER !! [hope i really could do so] really just 顺其自然 lo. no forcing please. I really get it now. Thanks ..!! :D

EXAM!!!!

Just a blink of an eye, exam is juzt around the corner now. Help! I really gonna study hard for this finla exam term cuz i didnt get good marks in the middle term.. I really dunno waht the sej talking about.. Making me blur =.= Biology! OMG!! That i need to study a lot!!!But after this exam, there's gonna be two weeks holiday . yeah!!!!

There's things i gonna do during the holiday:-
1) pratice hard for my piano (usually i always say so but, hmm... never really do so =p )
2) go muvee wit my beloved piggy!!
3) its time to tidy up my room! (gosh, its messy like a bird nest!)
4) on diet+sports =] [ KEVIN TEO made me gain my weight again!]
5) online to ply game!! But need to get his permission.. lawl!!!!

no title

I didnt online about one month cuz of the stupid line! Hmmm.. So miss my computer!!! haha XD.. Actually i didnt have anythings to say recently. I do have a lot of things in my heart but i dunno who to share except to him, but i dunno why recently i start to have the feeling that he gonna go away from me since i had that BAD DREAM! I told joey the dream today. Actually its quite funny but i really dont wish it come true. Its a horrible dream for me. I told him my feelings but he just smile at me and said dont be silly my girl. Did i feel more comfortable when he says that?? 'NO'! I really dunno why, maybe i get influnce by those drama movie! Hey, drama movie! you should change your scripts!!! hmmmm... That all for today. Wish me good day?!? =]